“A prostitute probably sells her body out of necessity, the political whores we portray sell themselves out of greed for power.”
Despite Labour being considerate underdogs for most of the recent UK elections’ campaign cycle, they managed to scoop up a lot more seats than anticipated, and become a considerable thorn in Theresa May’s side.
Now I’ll be the first person to admit that while I might not be the most clued in when it comes to politics, I still love engaging with it – especially when it comes to elections. They’re nationwide popularity contests (essentially Eurovision without the music) that decides who’ll be running the country for the next few years. And for reasons I’ll never understand, most of those people end up being pricks, but they’ll only ever get called out for being so in pubs and on buses around the nation.
Enter Wankers of the World. This group launched an eye-catching poster campaign around London in the run-up to last week’s vote, endorsing particular politicians as what a large portion of the population see them as – wankers.
We caught up with the anonymous provocateurs for a brief chat about the UK election and why they put these posters up around London.
Who are Wankers of the World?
We see ourselves as Wank spotters. We’re a bit like trainspotters, but without flasks of Bovril. Although one of us did bring along some Jaffa cakes and a litre of Yop the other night when we were out putting up our posters. I’m not having a pop at trainspotters, by the way, I mean my cousin Brian is a train spotter and to a certain extent he’s really living the dream. We have a great team of 14 Wank spotters, but unfortunately due to Brexit , R***** our star spotter is back off to his homeland. We’re gonna give him a right send off though. A proper Wankers party.
How has the reaction to the posters been so far?
At school, my teacher Mr Whitehead always said to me that if one day in the future Scientists were able to invent some kind of cyber arena where millions of people could talk to each other via computers, then it wouldn’t matter one bit, because no one would listen to a word I said anyway. Now, I can’t speak for the other 13 Wank spotters in our team but that has always stuck with me. Actually, the most amazing thing is that Mr Whitehead predicted Twitter. Think he’s dead now. Although someone I know said they saw him working as a Lollypop man in Turnpike Lane.
What do you make of the whole election cycle that’s just gone by?
To be honest with you, none of us really follow politics.
What do you make of the results of the election?
We predicted that the sweaty dandruffy blue team would win. And they did. In the same way as my uncle Colin won in 1991 when he shat himself running for the W2 bus. He still managed to catch the bus so he was victorious I suppose. Everyone told him to get the fuck off the bus because he stank like shit, but he wouldn’t.
You’ve only featured conservative and right-leaning figures in your poster campaign. I presume you all voted Labour?
We don’t look at leaning right or left. All we care about is if someone fulfils the criteria of being a proper Wanker.
The posters are great. They look to be inspired by call-girl cards. What else inspired them, and the campaign itself?
I suppose that when someone’s a real Wanker, that fact should be advertised to the world, right? And by wanker, I don’t mean literally. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Donald of Trump has the odd fondle of his shrivelled todger after an evening in the White House. Especially as his missus won’t touch him.
Yeah, its true we ripped off a few call girl cards to make a point. But let’s be clear. A prostitute probably sells her body out of necessity, the political whores we portray sell themselves out of greed for power.
I watched the 2015’s UK election results come in with a friend from London and he seemed really downtrodden as the results came back. Have you noticed a tangible difference to quality of life since the Tories have been in power?
Not sure. As I’ve said I don’t know much about politics but I guess having a grey meat covered scarecrow with Ringo Star’s haircut for your leader must be quite demoralising to the British public.
Finally, are there any other figures (political or not) that you’d love to publicly call out, shame, or simply take the piss out of?
Yeah – PM, LK, TB, JH, VP, SS, TB, KH, RL, KM, KC, MG to name but a few.
You can pick up individual prints from the poster campaign at WankersOfTheWorld.com.