Words: Shamim de Brún
Aldi has been announced as the official supermarket partner for Electric Picnic,
The Press Release says, “Festival-goers will be able to purchase breakfast foods, snacks, sweet treats, beauty items and sun cream to the all-important festival Specialbuys”. Special buys? You know what that means; batshit middle isle options.
Aldi’s middle aisle is infamous for tempting you into weird and wonderful impulse purchases. You could cite them as the singular reason for the air fryer trend in Dublin. If the target customer base is 20 years younger and hopped up on more illicit substances that we’re allowed to talk about, then imagine what gems could be picked up? What will they jam pack into the impulse buy aisle? We thought we’d speculate.
Taking inspiration from things they’ve actually sold in the past here is a list of things that might turn up at Stradbally this September
They can’t not bring this one, every festival goes needs a hat like this.
The perfect slicer for your hand and others:
They would be missing a trick if they weren’t selling these inflatable Bubble Balls. These will settle all kinds of disputes and double as a poncho for when it invariably rains.
A kids Nespresso machine that no drunk person wouldn’t confuse for the real thing
Or maybe they’ll be more practical like this goon bag goon bag to help you smuggle wine into the arena.
A log splitter for all those campfire nights
You know the sleeping bag onesie will be the ensemble to end all festival season fashion.
Who wouldn’t want a 20-inch unicycle to help navigate Electric Picnic?
Aldi has sold all these things worldwide in preparation for this, the main event, at Stradbally. And we are ready!