Where exactly is the beloved dolphin?

As we all know, Fungie hasn’t been seen in his home of Dingle harbour since last week. Last night, RTÉ reported that the search for the national treasure had ceased. But fear not, he’s definitely just taking it handy and having a little time for himself during the shit show that is 2020.

We’ve put together a few of our favourite theories where Fungie could be hanging out right now:

1. As @eoinalexxender on Twitter puts it; he could be chilling with Tony Holohan (hopefully not against his will). He’s just giving Tony a dig out, making Irish people cop on and get serious about the new restrictions. According to our approximations, he should be heading back down to Dingle at about midnight tonight – just in time for lockdown.

2. Our beloved Fungie could have popped down to the Meditteranean on a short trip to catch himself a bit of Vitamin D while giving out to those pesky influencers for leaving the country. Fair play to you, Fungie.

3. An eyebrow-raising theory that originated on Whatsapp said that Fungie was captured by the Chinese Government. The squalene in the liver of dolphins and whales is a component of the Covid 19 vaccine. We think that’s a hardly.

4. @bigdirtyfry had an interesting and slightly familiar theory? It sees Fungie finding his legs but losing his voice. Our old friend is living his fairytale dreams by finding true love on land. He’ll find a way back to us soon though.

5.We’ve left our most realistic theory to last. Fungie, like all of us is dying for a pint of Guinness in a cosy pub. The oul messer got one in early. He’s been having a few quiet ones at a Grogan’s roll over lock-in.

Anyway, while we wait for Fungie to return from whatever he’s getting up to, enjoy this video of Paddy Ferriter in 1991. He was the first person to spot Fungie in Dingle.