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Counter Culture / June 30, 2022

It’s cheaper to stay in the Apache Hostel than to buy their pizza

Image: Bookings.com
Counter Culture / June 30, 2022

It’s cheaper to stay in the Apache Hostel than to buy their pizza

Words: Ellen Kenny

This price comparison is a true breach of crust in our country’s future.

Imagine: you’ve just left The George after a night of moving, grooving, and eight euro pints. You now only have 24 euro to your name. 

There are no taxis available because why would there be. The next bus home isn’t arriving for another three to five working days. You’re starving, but riots are starting in Gay Spar.

You’re running out of options. You’re running out of hope. You look across the road and there it is. The holy grail of post-night out food that is Apache. 

You have a few options here. You can order an extra large pizza to satisfy your drunken hunger, but the queues are enormous and it’ll leave you with only 50 cents to make your way home. 

Or, you realise, you can avoid taxi shortages and unreliable buses altogether, while also saving a bit more cash. By sleeping in the renowned Apache Hostel for the sweet price of 23 euros.

As far as Dublin accommodation goes, 23 euros for this central location is actually a bargain. Beggars can’t be choosers, right? You could probably spend your last euro on a pack of gum in Gay Centra if you’re lucky.

The rising cost of living, and the lack of action to resolve it, is always hard to accept. But to hear that it’s cheaper to stay in a Temple Bar hostel than to buy one measly pizza is making me really crusty. Isn’t that a real slice of life in Dublin?

Sorry to be cheesy.

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